One night a few weeks after Jesus saved me,I told the Lord I would trust Him for everything I needed. It started out great, I'd pray for gas money here and there and get it. I prayed for shoes and with in a month I had a closet full of nine west shoes.

Then came a bigger challenge. I had run a red light, gotten a ticket, and forgot about it till a week before it was due. So from Saturday until Tuesday I was down on my knees praying the Lord would provide. Tuesday night rolled around and I was laying in bed praying.

"Okay Lord, this is kinda cutting it close. I have to go tomorrow at ten to pay the fine and I don't even have ten bucks. Hello? Are you listening? I'm going to jail if you don't provide."

Okay so maybe it wasn't that serious, but I had no money and because I had promised to trust the Lord alone I didn't feel right about asking anyone but the Lord. Then I had a great idea. If my parents offered to pay, then technically I didn't ask for it..

"Lord you're right. If my parents offer to pay twice then I'll take the check."

Not exactly total dependence on the Lord, but close enough. And what was He going to do anyway with less than twelve hours left? This was a much safer plan. I knew my dad would offer to pay until I showed him the money or until I took the check. The next morning went just how I thought it would. First time they offered; nope, I couldn't take it. The second time, okay, yes, now I could take the check. On the way to the court I turned on the radio: "On Christ the solid rock I stand...". Nope that wouldn't work to sooth my conscious ."You are my healer, my Provider..." . Oh no, not that right now- click. At the moment , silence was better. That's when I began to hear the Spirit use my conscious to convict me.

"You'll have faith when it's in your power to control, Mary, but for this you doubt Me?"

"It's not that I doubt You exactly, it's just that what if You're using my parents and I rip up the check, then You can't provide for me?"

"What kind of God would I be if you could get in my way?"

So I decided I would rip the check up and have total dependence, total security in my  Savior like I had committed to. I was surrendering all control to Him. But I couldn't find a pen to void the check.

"Oh man, sorry God! No pen"

Then I saw something sticking out of my purse.

"I can't use that!" I said.

"Use it and trust Me."

"It'll ruin my eye liner!"

"I'll build your faith."

"I can't! "

"Use it."

So I wrote void across the check in charcoal gray eyeliner and ripped it up. I could feel my chest tightening.

What did I just do! I had to be at the court house to pay a fine in less than half an hour and I had just ripped up a signed check!

"Oh Lord help!"

All the way to the court all I could pray was, "Oh Lord, help. Oh Lord help."

I pulled up trying to figure out what they did to people like me. They could put me in jail with a murderer! What if my parents didn't pick up on my one free phone call. What if I forgot my phone number. By the time I was sitting, waiting I was convinced I was going to die in jail and no one would ever know. (I can tend to be a little over dramatic, can you tell?)

I sat up straighter looking around the room for a way out. Then I noticed a piece of paper tacked to the wall and on it printed in bold capital letters was this:

"NO PERSONALCHECKS ACCEPTED"

I sat back in my chair and laughed out loud (Yes, people did look). How ironic though my back up plan was no back up plan at all. What I was holding on to as my security wasn't really any security at all. Soon after all that, they called me out and the judge gave me another month to pay.

So how does my ticket and a poor widow go together? If Jesus is really after our heart, our motive (and He is!). Then where is your heart? Is it like me freaking out when you've lost control?Are you like I was letting something be your security that offers no real security at all? Or is it like the widow, security in her Messiah? So secure that she could give all she possessed, without a back up plan.

A poor widow gave so little. Even so Jesus took the time to stop and watch her, why? It was her heart. It says "She gave her all" her confidence wasn't in her money. Her security wasn't in her savings. Her confident expectation, her joy , her freedom was in something greater than her net worth.

We are a generation that is being sucked into the lie that money will bring security, that it will bring happiness. A secular doctor did a study on what Americans want most and he found it was money. This is what he had to say about it;

"For Woman money is about personal satisfaction and happiness.. for men money is about freedom. For both money is more important now that at any other time."

Dr Frank L.

This sweet precious widow gave her all and in doing so she gave more than anyone that day. This by no means is to guilt you into giving, don't run out and blow your budget. This story is a heart check. Are you giving Jesus "All" of you like the widow or are you like the rich giving what you'll "Never miss" .Where is you security? Where does your confidence lie? Is it in your education, is it in your savings, is it in your ability to make money one day? There is a song and the lyrics go like this;

In the morning when I rise/ Give me Jesus/ Give me Jesus/ Give me Jesus/ You can have all this world/ Just give me Jesus/ When I am alone/ Give me Jesus/ Give me Jesus/ Give me Jesus/ You can have all this world/ You can have all this world, just give me Jesus/ When I come to die/ Give me Jesus/ Give me Jesus/ Give me Jesus/ You can have all this world just give me Jesus.

That is the place our heart needs to be. Money or no money, savings or no savings, doctor or unemployed, "Give me Jesus, you can have all this world just give me Jesus."

Are you giving your "All" to Jesus like the widow? Or are you giving your time, your energy, your desires, your planning like the rich giving what you'll "Never miss" . If you are giving and living like the rich I challenge you to have a different view of God. See the One who can turn water into wine, see Him who could part the red sea, see Him who spoke and created water.